Halloween 2009 - The Evolution of a Costume.

Max loves to dress up. Amy decided to keep a costume bin for him because of this. This means we have dozens of costumes at our disposal at any time. Max wanted to be a ghost, Lambert wanted to be Super Elmo. Super Elmo, however, is not really a costume. It is just a fuzzy red hat that Lambert likes to wear. It looks like a shag pimp hat. We didn't want Lambert dressed as a pimp calling himself Elmo. So, we talked him in to being a ghost.

To this end, Amy took them out to get a sheet. We were going old school, little did I know - we were going trailer park. Amy got back, with Black sheets (The kids thought they would be 'shadow ghosts' and laid them out on the floor. The then proceeded to cut HUGE eye holes about two feet apart from each other esuring the kids would never see out of both holes at the same time. She also cut them so far off center that you could completely see one side of Lambert's body and the other side was hanging on the floor. Maxwell's was cut oddly too, he tripped over the front and you could see his little booty hanging from the back.

They then put some glitter on the body of the ghost, and paint on the face. Lambert was the smiling ghost and Max was the surprised ghost. We went to Lambert's school for Trick's or Treats. As soon as we put Lamberts on, he hated it. He could not see out of it and he cant stand things on his head. Amy, in a quick move cut a hole so large out of the front that you could slip a manhole cover through it without hitting fabric. Lamber was happy, but ceased to look like a ghost. Amy had inadvertently turned his costume into a Burka. Max's costume had to be trimmed as well, I took 4 yards of fabric off the front and another yard off his candy gripping arm so that he could maneuver and we were on our way.

Lambert 'Boo'd' people as the Afghane woman he was while Max floated about filling his bucket. After buckets were full, I took Lambert's costume off so that we would not become Halloween martyr's and we set for home.

On Halloween proper Lambert and Max made a costume change, claiming that their Ghost Costumes were 'Ghetto!'. Lambert was knight sensory sensitive, and decided he hated his helmet within seconds. Further he kept 'chinging' others with his sword. Max is often Superman in our house, so he wore that costume but with Knight Lambert beating the piss out of him with his side arm, he was soon crying. Man of Steel my ass.

Lambert reverted to the Ninja he was last year and Amy set off with some neighbor kids. The neighbors and I started a fire in our driveway (in a fire pit) and handed out treats. The night went well, but as Lambert juiced up on more candy, his ninja antics became more erratic. At one point, when they had gotten back from Trick or Treating he saw a family coming up to get candy. He saw that the baby in the carriage, dressed up as a cute pumpkin, had a glow stick to keep her safe. He snatched the glowstick from the surprised Jack o' Lantern, walked up to her father - who was asking for it back - started swinging it (a la Kill Bill) and said to him 'I am going to hit you in the nuts!'

We were proud to say the least.

The rest of the night was spent with Max, Lambert, and the neighbor Benjamin running laps around the driveway trying to contain the sugar buzz. They soon fell into a insulin coma, and another Halloween came to a close.

Jason